Nov. 10th, 2010

strina: stock icon of cherries against a green background - default icon (inc - chose to forget)
So I have a long-standing thing with dreams, okay, where my dream will be a (relatively speaking) coherent narrative but I will swap sex/gender/identity (sometimes I'm a girl, sometimes I'm a boy, sometimes I'm a girl with a dick, whatever). And in RL, I'm cis-female.

Thus, my problem with Inception fandom - the reason I have read, but not really embraced - is that the dreams are cons but VERY RARELY are they also treated like dreams, excepting cases involving a) death and torture, b) existentialism, or c) BOTH.

It might be skeevy to say, but if I could manipulate the laws and appearance of my physical world? There are three things I would do. THE FIRST THING...okay, the first thing would be tentacle sex, shut up, it is the combination of several major kinks for me. THE SECOND THING I WOULD DO WAS TEST-DRIVE A DICK.

And here's where I get lazy and just c&p my kind of rambly note-to-self from a couple weeks ago. )

Like, this fandom's great and all, but it's kind of focused on CRIMINALS IN LOVE when I would like it to be CRIMINALS IN LOVE WITH SHAPESHIFTING AND GENDERPLAY/GENDERQUEERNESS. I want A MILLION WORDS about the art of forgery - training; who can do it, who can't, and why; that time with the two layers and the gaslighting plot; the kind of horrible story where Eames has to stay the best because more jobs means more time on the PASIV and only in dreams can he present his most accurate self at any given moment, but too much dreaming alone and without a goal and he's end up just another breathing corpse in Yusuf's basement; the one where they try to teach Ariadne to forge and she's terrible at it, but Saito's a natural, because he's one of the most controlled and self-aware people you'll ever meet (Ariadne been socially conditioned not to think too hard about her own body and her forgeries' proportions shift every time she stops concentrating enough to do anything).

ALSO, there's a throwaway line in a fic about the PASIV not being invented for military use like in every fucking other fic out there, but instead it was invented for DREAMFUCKING and I think that is GENIUS. Because see, there are those fics where it starts military, goes criminal, and ends in horrible forced prostituition, but it would be totally ace if it started as pron/prostitution, went military, then criminal, then recreational again. BASICALLY I WANT EAMES TO HAVE GOTTEN HIS START IN DREAM-PORN AND THEN HAVE DECIDED TO ROCK A LIFE OF CRIME. WITH OPTIONAL MIDPOINT OF HILARIOUSLY CONSULTING FOR THE MILITARY FROM HIS VAST EXPERIENCE OF DUPING AND SEDUCING OLD RICH DUDES.
strina: text only caption "here till the bitter end" (txt - bitter end)
Holy crap, I wish I had a better memory, or at least a better sense of "LIFE-CHANGING EVENT! WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN."

I am once again trying to map my fannish timeline, if you're wondering.

I mean, some people can track their first foray into fandom back to the day, but I didn't get pimped in by a friend. I went looking for spoilers and found fic completely by accident. Then I spent an indeterminate while as a monofannish het-OTPing feral fan before I even found Fanfiction.net (in March or April of 2003 - I joined 05/03, but I remember it took me a while to figure out how potentially awesome Author Alerts were). There was a forum? And the Dog-Eat-Dog Archive, which I can't even find referenced anywhere anymore.

And all this went down four computers and three email addresses ago, so CLUES ARE SCARCE.

And it's not a big deal, I guess, it's just. Fandom, you know, this giant amazing ball of crazy where I'm my most honest, my most engaged and passionate and joyful. It deserves an anniversary, okay.

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