Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

[strina]

Okay, so I grew up (from about eight or nine) with my dad as my custodial parent. My mom was there in a weekly-visitation fashion, but she was not the best source of information for reasons of crazy + drugs + drugs for the crazy + we are not built very much alike. Plus the whole family's pretty keen on the whole not talking about it, omg, there could be a SCENE (when we're not keen on the oh, there'll be a SCENE, motherfucker! thing instead, but basically, the middle ground is lost on us); plus I opted out of a lot of social interaction growing up (books or sleepovers = books won every time it wasn't someone's actual birthday).

Basically, this means I feel like I missed a lot of the Girl Memos.

This leads to a lot of why is my body doing this, is it supposed to do this, AAUGH, why is meatspace SO GROSS and some social flailing and some grooming battles (what do you mean, you shave your legs all the time? I haven't shaved since I wore that skirt at Thanksgiving!) and apparently, I have been wearing the wrong size bras for the last decade.

I tend to only have one or two bras that fit at a time; it used to be three, but the third was always a strapless and those don't work for me now, so much. I got down to one, and the underwire started popping out on both sides, so I started looking around for a new one. I mentioned this to my grandma and when we hung out Saturday, she took me to go get actually measured for one, because this is apparently one of those Things I never got the memo on.

My poor falling apart bra was a 40D, and it actually fit a lot better than most of the bras I've ended up with (hence the waiting until the last possible minute to replace it).

Apparently I am supposed to be wearing a 38DDD.

What the hell is that! And I'm "shallow chested", which is apparently the thing where my cleavage starts at, y'know, my boobs, and not at an inch past my shoulders, which is why the straps always gapped on me at the front.

WHY ARE BRAS SO DUMB. In what the hell other piece of clothing could I have been that mistaken in sizing, for years, without knowing.

Although hilariously, people have apparently been judging the size of boobs more accurately than I have for ages. I've had several conversations along the lines of "I'm just a D-cup." - "They look bigger!".

Comments

[lightgetsin]

Don't feel bad, that happened to me twice. I just recently went from a 36DD to a freaking 32G, and I was like, how did I not figure this out after the first fitting?

You know the 'down a band size, up a cup-size, reverse' thing, right? It's how you fiddle up and down to see what works best in a brand. If you got up one, go down the other at least one step.

[strina]

The fitting lady told me that and I was so confused. Breasts should really come with an instruction manual.

[jmtorres]

Do not feel bad, this is not necessarily a "didn't get the girl memos" thing; most American women are in missized bras. There's like, a stigma of PORN STAR or FAKITUDE attached to anything over a C which is lies, dirty lies. PS I am a G-cup. And I found this out like, a couple years ago.

[james]

Seems like most women wear the wrong size bra for a good portion of their bra-wearing years. It doesn't help that the way to measure for a bra MAKES NO SENSE.

I like the way Decent Exposures does it. They say "measure your rib cage" and "measure around at the biggest part of your boobs" and that's it. Those two measurements give you the band size and cup size. No 'wrap tape measure up around under your armpits' nonsense.

(They also make custom bras for about the same price as store-bought bras and they are comfy, especially for larger cup sizes.)

[shopfront]

I wholeheartedly endorse the whole 'loads of women use the wrong bra size' thing, and would also like to state for the record that my mother and I were pretty close growing up, and she tends to subscribe fairly closely to what society expects of women, and yet I still can rarely be bothered to strip the hair off my legs either. And the older I get, the more comfortable I get about ignoring that particular 'joy' of femininity and just wander about with my hairy legs on display.

[amaresu]

Oh the difference a properly fitted bra makes. I remember when I went from a DD to G and realized that suddenly my back wasn't aching constantly anymore. Most women are never taught how to find the correct bra size and they aren't told they should recheck it every couple of years. My biggest complaint is that no stores in my area carry my size in stock so it's always a crapshoot when I order a different brand.

I swear the only reason I shave my legs is that it helps cool me down in the summer.

[kitsune_hana]

Don't worry my dad raised me from obout 5. I still think I'm in the wrong bra size but I have no idea where to go in this hell hole to bet measured and I can't get to OKC with my car to get measured.

My dad and my sister are totally cool with meeting new people. For me however there is always that period of "I don't know you so I'm going to pretend you don't exist and stick my nose in a book until you have been in the same room as long enough for me to deem you ok to talk to." I know there should be some punctation in there somewhere, but oh well.

As for shaving if I'm not wearing a skirt that shows my legs why bother? Pants or a long skirt no need to shave.