Damn You, Homestuck! Why Does Your Xeno Poly Hatesex Nonsense Fit This So WELL?

[strina]

MARCONE IS HARRY'S KISMESIS. Although I'm not sure if Murphy or Michael would be his moirail, and whether it's Elaine or Susan, he is defs estranged from his matesprit. OH MY GOD, BEING HARRY DRESDEN'S AUSPISTICE HAS GOT TO BE THE FUCKING WORST, ARE YOU KIDDING. Oh shit, you guys, is Lea secretly just the worst fucking auspistice in the world (Harry\Lea/Mab)? And after that went down in flames, he filled his ashen quadrant with Thomas (re: Lara) AND NOW IT HAS GONE WRONG AGAIN. HE IS DOOMED TO FILL ONLY TWO QUADRANTS FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME.

Comments

[gehayi]

Can you please translate the following words?

Kismesis
Moirail
Matesprit
Auspistice
Ashen quadrant

[strina]

In the comic Homestuck, there are humans and trolls. Trolls are driven by two primary emotions (hate and pity) and have a very weird relationship set-up. Here is the real explanation: wiki, comic. But I will sum up!

There are four primary relationships in their romantic lives and the best result is to fill all four quadrants simultaneously.

Red romance has one sexual quadrant (your matesprit, for whom you have "mating fondness" - the closest equivalent to human romance) and one platonic quadrant (your moiral, who's "fated" to keep your ass in line and watch over you). Black romance also has one sexual quadrant (your kismesis, with whom you have ALL THE HATESEX - the point is a rival you hate and strive against, but will never/can never kill or defeat) and one platonic quadrant (your auspistice, who mediates between a (you) and b (someone you hate) to keep the ab relationship at a functional level).

Matespritship = flushed quadrant. Moirallegiance = pale quadrant. Kismesissitude = caliginous quadrant. Auspisticism = ashen quadrant.

[gehayi]

*boggles in incomprehension*

I have enough trouble with fandom's insistence on shipping everyone. How can you possibly not only remember all that and keep it straight, but actually apply it to fandoms that are not Homestuck?

[strina]

I had a cheatsheet when I first started reading Homestuck fic, not gonna lie. But after a while it starts making a lot of sense? Because they're weird names for relationships that actually happen - Wilson is House's moirail in canon (though I ship them romantically) and Audrey Parker canonically auspistices for Nathan Wuornos and Duke Crocker on Haven. It's kind of awesome to have a segment of fandom where all of those relationships are ships, instead of just the sexual ones. So I can say that I want Murphy and Harry to be moirails forever, and it's read/treated as just as important/valid as if I'd said I want them to get married and have babies. Because the big hope for trolls is that there is, in fact, a One True Love, but also a One True Friend, a One True Voice of Reason/One True Useful Irritant, and a One True Frenemy.

[sorcyress]

So, I found your entry by accident (I was googling "homestuck wiki auspistice" to look some stuff up and you were on the first page), and I wouldn't really have anything to say except your title of this post involves the phrase "xeno poly hatesex nonsense".

Which is exactly right. And awesome, and has me sitting her guffawing wildly. So I figured I'd leave some appreciation.

~Sor