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As It Turns Out, I'm an H/D Girl
Sep. 19th, 2006 12:39 amIn a move which I'm sure shocks you, I'm going to talk about Harry Potter. This time, though, I have no goal to my ramble. I am merely writing to kill time and since I'd just finished reading a Harry/Ron fic when the computer lab closed...
Harry Potter was my second fandom. It was the week OotP was to be released. I'd reread the first four books and longed desperately for more, but it was a few days too early yet. So I decided to try some of the fanfiction.
I fell into H/D immediately.
The first story I read in HP was this Harry/Ron one-shot that left me cold. I was squicked hard by every single cross-gen pairing. I couldn't have been less interested in Harry/Hermione had I tried. Harry/Ginny horrified me. Harry/Draco, though, left me going "what the hell".
I...enjoy mocking things. I will read and watch and listen to things just so I can mock them later (see: Christina's first forays into slash, unconventional pairings, real person fiction, etc.).
And come on. Abused hero/smarmy little bigot? Are you for serious?
Yes. Yes, they were indeed. And HOLY CRAP. What. I mean. What.
All of a sudden, star-crossed lovers! Schoolboy rivals! Harry saves Draco from the Dark! No, Draco seduces Harry to the Dark! Neither of them converts the other, they just have lots of filthy nasty sex, often right there against the wall!
Draco changes sides because he's squeamish! Because of an idealogical revelation! Because his father's an abusive bastard! Because he thinks the Death Eaters will lose! Because he's in love with Harry! Because he doesn't want to be the Dark Lord's bum-boy (sometimes, this is literal)!
Harry changes sides because the Dursleys made him hate Muggles! Because he's actually a bit of a sociopath! Because he thinks Dumbledore will lose! Because he feels a kinship with Voldemort!
They fall in love because they are both incredibly attractive, and attracted, to each other! Because secretly, they were both abused as children! Because magic has destined them for each other as perfect opposites! Because, on the inside, they are both sweet, sensitive young men protecting their tender secret hearts from the cruel and uncaring world with increasingly brittle facades! Because, on the inside, when they're honest, they're both really kind of bastards!
Nobody agrees on anything. It is brilliance.
I mean, OMG, WTF, it's like everybody's on crack, all the time. And if consistency's your thing I can see where that would be annoying, but people, I am utterly enchanted with this thing where I can read fifteen Harry/Draco stories in one day and have them all completely and totally unrelatable to each other.
Story 1: Draco is a veela and Harry is his mate and they are totally MFEO and the Malfoys are completely chill and then Harry gets all knocked up and superpowered and kills ol' Moldieshorts like *that*. Story 2: A potions accident reduces Draco to a four-year-old and Harry takes care of him and discovers that Lucius sexually abused his son and I get to actually see the word "babyraper" used, what the hell. Story 3: The exigencies of war and Draco's careful seduction corrupt Harry into a new Dark Lord. Story 4: Harry's friends are bastards. At least he's always known what Draco thought of him. Story 5: Harry is predictable and easily manipulated. Draco has a Cunning Plan. Story 6: Harry saves Draco from the Dark Lord. With his penis. Story 7: Draco is secretly devoted to Harry and then Harry sees and Angsts over misjudging him. Story 8: There is really very little teenage boys won't overlook if it means they get sex. Story 9: Draco fails at Slytherin Cunning, but that's okay, 'cause Harry's smarter than he looks. Story 10: Wow, sometimes all "OTP" means is "they are too fucked-up to inflict on anybody else". Story 11: War is hell and love does not save the day. In fact, it mostly enables the day to punch you where you're raw and bleeding. Story 12: Drinking games = fun for the whole family! If your family consists of bored teenagers who delight in forcing apparently-straight nemeses to make out. Story 13: No Seeker can resist a boy with spontaneous wings! Story 14: Ideological conversion through hot sex! Everybody's doing it! Story 15: Revenge on the Boy-Who-Lived has, historically, not worked well, so much. Why should Draco Malfoy's case be any different?
And then there was some rambling about how I'm easy-going on characterisation because it's pretty clear that reading the same book =/= reading the same story, but most of it's badly phrased, so I'll leave it for another time.
And, for the curious, the fics mentioned:
Story 1: I have no idea, it's just a vague, wretched memory. Story 2: To the Moon Story 3: Sides Story 4: Trinity Story 5: Mismeasured Ingredients Story 6: Rituals and Traditions Story 7: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow Story 8: How to Shag Your Most Hated Enemy and Still Feel Alright About It, You Know, Morally Speaking Story 9: Lustre Story 10: Trio Trifecta: Prelude to a Kiss Story 11: Salvation Story 12: Starts with a Spin Story 13: No Treaty Story 14: Checkmating Story 15: And We Are At Our Apogee
Harry Potter was my second fandom. It was the week OotP was to be released. I'd reread the first four books and longed desperately for more, but it was a few days too early yet. So I decided to try some of the fanfiction.
I fell into H/D immediately.
The first story I read in HP was this Harry/Ron one-shot that left me cold. I was squicked hard by every single cross-gen pairing. I couldn't have been less interested in Harry/Hermione had I tried. Harry/Ginny horrified me. Harry/Draco, though, left me going "what the hell".
I...enjoy mocking things. I will read and watch and listen to things just so I can mock them later (see: Christina's first forays into slash, unconventional pairings, real person fiction, etc.).
And come on. Abused hero/smarmy little bigot? Are you for serious?
Yes. Yes, they were indeed. And HOLY CRAP. What. I mean. What.
All of a sudden, star-crossed lovers! Schoolboy rivals! Harry saves Draco from the Dark! No, Draco seduces Harry to the Dark! Neither of them converts the other, they just have lots of filthy nasty sex, often right there against the wall!
Draco changes sides because he's squeamish! Because of an idealogical revelation! Because his father's an abusive bastard! Because he thinks the Death Eaters will lose! Because he's in love with Harry! Because he doesn't want to be the Dark Lord's bum-boy (sometimes, this is literal)!
Harry changes sides because the Dursleys made him hate Muggles! Because he's actually a bit of a sociopath! Because he thinks Dumbledore will lose! Because he feels a kinship with Voldemort!
They fall in love because they are both incredibly attractive, and attracted, to each other! Because secretly, they were both abused as children! Because magic has destined them for each other as perfect opposites! Because, on the inside, they are both sweet, sensitive young men protecting their tender secret hearts from the cruel and uncaring world with increasingly brittle facades! Because, on the inside, when they're honest, they're both really kind of bastards!
Nobody agrees on anything. It is brilliance.
I mean, OMG, WTF, it's like everybody's on crack, all the time. And if consistency's your thing I can see where that would be annoying, but people, I am utterly enchanted with this thing where I can read fifteen Harry/Draco stories in one day and have them all completely and totally unrelatable to each other.
Story 1: Draco is a veela and Harry is his mate and they are totally MFEO and the Malfoys are completely chill and then Harry gets all knocked up and superpowered and kills ol' Moldieshorts like *that*. Story 2: A potions accident reduces Draco to a four-year-old and Harry takes care of him and discovers that Lucius sexually abused his son and I get to actually see the word "babyraper" used, what the hell. Story 3: The exigencies of war and Draco's careful seduction corrupt Harry into a new Dark Lord. Story 4: Harry's friends are bastards. At least he's always known what Draco thought of him. Story 5: Harry is predictable and easily manipulated. Draco has a Cunning Plan. Story 6: Harry saves Draco from the Dark Lord. With his penis. Story 7: Draco is secretly devoted to Harry and then Harry sees and Angsts over misjudging him. Story 8: There is really very little teenage boys won't overlook if it means they get sex. Story 9: Draco fails at Slytherin Cunning, but that's okay, 'cause Harry's smarter than he looks. Story 10: Wow, sometimes all "OTP" means is "they are too fucked-up to inflict on anybody else". Story 11: War is hell and love does not save the day. In fact, it mostly enables the day to punch you where you're raw and bleeding. Story 12: Drinking games = fun for the whole family! If your family consists of bored teenagers who delight in forcing apparently-straight nemeses to make out. Story 13: No Seeker can resist a boy with spontaneous wings! Story 14: Ideological conversion through hot sex! Everybody's doing it! Story 15: Revenge on the Boy-Who-Lived has, historically, not worked well, so much. Why should Draco Malfoy's case be any different?
And then there was some rambling about how I'm easy-going on characterisation because it's pretty clear that reading the same book =/= reading the same story, but most of it's badly phrased, so I'll leave it for another time.
And, for the curious, the fics mentioned:
Story 1: I have no idea, it's just a vague, wretched memory. Story 2: To the Moon Story 3: Sides Story 4: Trinity Story 5: Mismeasured Ingredients Story 6: Rituals and Traditions Story 7: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow Story 8: How to Shag Your Most Hated Enemy and Still Feel Alright About It, You Know, Morally Speaking Story 9: Lustre Story 10: Trio Trifecta: Prelude to a Kiss Story 11: Salvation Story 12: Starts with a Spin Story 13: No Treaty Story 14: Checkmating Story 15: And We Are At Our Apogee
