Oh, How I Ramble

I don't...deal well with change. Which, well, I knew, but god, I didn't realize how freakish I could get about it. People keep changing their lj layouts and it weirds. Me. Out.

It's like someone up and changing their face. I have no other way to visually identify who these people are and it's weird.

Anyway.

Y'all should check out the Porn Battle. I've got a pile of entries in my to-be-read queue.

Queue is a funny word. You don't find many five-letter words with a repeating sequence.

I busted out with "parse" earlier. Because Dena gave me the excuse, and I like to be pretentious like that. Yeah, yeah, I'm an ass.

I miss human contact. I need friends in my own damn zip code.

Oh, guess what fic I rediscovered yesterday? The Lure. It's OMG so bad. And I've totally read it like three times.

It's just...okay, you know those movies? Where they're horrible, but they have little horrible bits in them that are awesome because you secretly, in your twelve-year-old girl heart of hearts, can totally see it?

Yeah, it's kind of like that. I put up with the weird characterization, uneven action, bizarre rape, and unlikely sub-on-sub action because my secret twelve-year-old loves Van in a collar. Because Van? Totally a sub.

I'll own it: I like the BDSM fic. Dude, Nancy is one of my top ten favorite authors, and her biggest fic is the Romanology thing. Which I reread part of this weekend and jesus do I want more of the Medical Investigation Romanology. Because that is an awful place to leave it. Miles was all "Stephen! Betrayed my trust!", but it totally wasn't like that, except it kinda was, and Stephen just all post-coital and unconscious and has no idea how much it's freaking Miles out that the sex was not only not-painful, but actually enjoyable, and oh, the repercussions.

And huh, it's weird that that story didn't trip my squick like Bitch did. But it feels different. It feels like Miles is more confused than anything, while Danny felt despairing.

Oh, desolate. I'm sorry, that has nothing to do with anything, but I fucking love that word. Every time I see an author use it, I want to swoon. Ohh, Biblio, in that one story, Keeping Silence or whatever. Gets me every damn time, that whole "Jack was reaping the whirlwind and hating himself for it...Daniel was desolate..." part.

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. So, I like the BDSM fic. And that has perhaps shaded the way I read a little. Because some people? I cannot read them topping with any kind of seriousness. I'm not talking physical topping, necessarily, just, you know, being the dominant partner in the relationship. Because there's usually a dominant partner.

Van? Pushy bottom. Chase? Canon bottom. Simon? Not a top. Unless he's in a situation he knows, taking care of his sister, being a doctor, he's just not...forceful at all. Emma? Yeah, no.

Whereas, I don't care how skilled a writer you are, you are not going to sell me Gibbs as a bottom. Teyla? Also not a bottom. Jarod? Again, top.

I have...so many pairings. I'm redoing my secondary folders, because of some rather glaring omissions (half my various threesome fics were missing from the SGA folder!). And I'm working on the pairing folder first. I am...less than half done. And I'm up to 212 couples, 44 threesomes, 5 foursomes, and 2 moresomes. Plus, 9 wank fics.

I want more threesome fic. Threesomes are nice. And wow, BtVS accounts for 11 of my threesomes, with SGA accounting for an additional 7. And SGA has two of my foursomes, and BtVS, one.

Mmmm, The Key's Watcher series. I love Tara Keezer. And I'd really love if she brought Ethan to the Anita-verse. But that's probably unlikely. Even though it'd be awesome. And we know Ethan was looking for Giles. Or, omg, we know the Anita-verse!Giles got vamped. What if Anita-verse!Ethan is his sire? And wanted a pair of matched Gileses?

This is why people write fanfic-fanfiction. Because they get dumb little ideas like this.

But hey! I haven't sorted any of my GSF fic yet! Possibly I will have to start a fivesome folder, because right now those'd go in the moresome folder, and since the two stories in there are giant, sprawling orgies, the GSFs would feel kinda out of place.

Seriously. Giant. Sprawling. Orgies.

They are awesome.

Here: Giant, sprawling orgy - Atlantis style and giant, sprawling, BDSM orgy - Care-bear style.

Dude, so not kidding. That last is why yuletide ROCKS.

And on that note...good night.

"Just Really Efficient"

OMFG, SGA Newsletter is my favoritest EVER.

SO many awesome things that I would have missed out on. I mean, yes, it's always handy, but today I went back a few entries and OMG, basingstoke did a sequel to No, Really and then springwoof finished Later On and basically, BEST EVER.

Okay, SGA Newsletter and sga_flashfic tie for best comms ever.

Because I just read a fic amnestied in for the Harlequin challenge that had John and Rodney have a one-night stand at a hotel the night before Rodney's father's funeral and then they find out that they're SEKRITLY BROTHERS and then they continue to have sex. Because yes, it's wrong and they're going to hell, but it's also really dirtywronghot. Plus, incest is a cultural taboo mostly because of inbreeding, and it's not like they can get each other pregnant.

And then, at the end, Rodney thinks one of the best things ever: "He was brilliant, and he was about to head the science team for the first intergalactic expedition ever, and he had a sensational-looking boyfriend and a brother with whom he was extraordinarily close. The fact that they happened to be the same person was just really efficient.". Because yes, totally Rodney.

Noticing a Theme Here...

Elizabeth/Teyla/Rodney? An "um, YES" for me, apparently. Just read A Pair of Boots and christ but I want more of that.

Also, there should be more Rodney/Ronon/Teyla enzyme-porn.

And more post-Duet Rodney/Carson/Cadman, because come on! Canon awkward-threesome-thing!

And there should be John/Rodney/Cadman, because I also just read Rodney and Cadman Go Down and OMG, hot.

What can I say? I am a fan of the polyamory.