Shut Up, and Let Me See Your Jazz Hands

Oh, Michael, you and your unnecessarily twisty escape plan; I love you.

At least it seems unnecessarily twisty, but I dunno; *I've* never broken out of prison.

And oh, L.J., I love you, too. You're so much smarter than Veronica that it actually *is* funny. And knocking Quinn into the dry well...score, you, L.J. Score, you.

Also, I kind of liked Sociopathic-Secret-Agent-Man tonight. Leaving Quinn trapped in the well and everything. I hope he still had his gun down there, 'cause exposure seems like a pretty crappy way to die. I'd totally rather go the bullet-in-the-brainpan route.

I wanna see Serenity again.

Anyway, my local news show decided to slide into the hilariously inappropriate tonight. They decided to follow Prison Break with a story about prisoners. They gave two headline-y names for their little segment, and I must quote them both. For I must share the madness.

"Prison Rape: Is It What Criminals Deserve or Is It Cruel and Unusual Punishment?"

and

"The Darker Side of Prison Rape: Why Inmates Say It's No Laughing Matter".

Seriously. First story after Prison Break. They *led* with this.

I have fudge bars in my tiny and not especially efficient freezer. And new books. Okay, I just bought used copies of three books I've read multiple times, and one used book that's new to me. But...I'd lost my copy of Alien Taste somewhere and I have the whole rest of the series. The series about the hot, heterosexual, alien detective who was raised by wolves, and then by lesbians (he had a long childhood). And even though he's straight, he loves this guy Max so much that literally every cell of his body refuses to hurt him (it's a whole thing - each cell in his body can exist independent of him as a viable organism, and those cells can also infect other organisms (making them "Gets") and erase their personalities). Anyway, somebody tries to infect Max with some of Ukiah's blood to make him a Get and the *blood* forms into a worm and crawls out of the injection site because Ukiah *cannot* hurt Max.

And then in the latest book, Ukiah's twin/clone/other half (at one point, this kid Magic Boy was brutally murdered, chopped up, and part of him became Ukiah; another part became Ukiah's brother/clone Atticus) shows up, and he's in love with, and has a long-standing commitment to, a guy, Hikaru Takahashi.

There should be fanfic, because I hate Max's girlfriend (the relationship has very little foundation and kinda got short shrift in the canon) and Ukiah's girl, Indigo, is kinda twitchy about things. Therefore, someone should write me Max/Ukiah.

Or Atticus/Ru, because I love them. They fight crime together! They have canon sex! Atticus has superpowers, and sings Cake! He takes his moral cues from comic books because "everything else assumes you're human"! He occasionally gets amnesia! Ru is witty and charming and kicks ass muchly! He is *also* a Cake fan! He's an adrenaline junkie and a government agent!

There should be *reams* of fanfic. But there aren't, 'cause it's a book series.

I also got Arrow's Fall, 'cause it's got the song appendix, and Arrow's Flight, 'cause if I had two, I needed all three.

So. I've got books and fudge bars. Life is good.