Shut Up, and Let Me See Your Jazz Hands

So I have a long-standing thing with dreams, okay, where my dream will be a (relatively speaking) coherent narrative but I will swap sex/gender/identity (sometimes I'm a girl, sometimes I'm a boy, sometimes I'm a girl with a dick, whatever). And in RL, I'm cis-female.

Thus, my problem with Inception fandom - the reason I have read, but not really embraced - is that the dreams are cons but VERY RARELY are they also treated like dreams, excepting cases involving a) death and torture, b) existentialism, or c) BOTH.

It might be skeevy to say, but if I could manipulate the laws and appearance of my physical world? There are three things I would do. THE FIRST THING...okay, the first thing would be tentacle sex, shut up, it is the combination of several major kinks for me. THE SECOND THING I WOULD DO WAS TEST-DRIVE A DICK.

( And here's where I get lazy and just c&p my kind of rambly note-to-self from a couple weeks ago. )

Like, this fandom's great and all, but it's kind of focused on CRIMINALS IN LOVE when I would like it to be CRIMINALS IN LOVE WITH SHAPESHIFTING AND GENDERPLAY/GENDERQUEERNESS. I want A MILLION WORDS about the art of forgery - training; who can do it, who can't, and why; that time with the two layers and the gaslighting plot; the kind of horrible story where Eames has to stay the best because more jobs means more time on the PASIV and only in dreams can he present his most accurate self at any given moment, but too much dreaming alone and without a goal and he's end up just another breathing corpse in Yusuf's basement; the one where they try to teach Ariadne to forge and she's terrible at it, but Saito's a natural, because he's one of the most controlled and self-aware people you'll ever meet (Ariadne been socially conditioned not to think too hard about her own body and her forgeries' proportions shift every time she stops concentrating enough to do anything).

ALSO, there's a throwaway line in a fic about the PASIV not being invented for military use like in every fucking other fic out there, but instead it was invented for DREAMFUCKING and I think that is GENIUS. Because see, there are those fics where it starts military, goes criminal, and ends in horrible forced prostituition, but it would be totally ace if it started as pron/prostitution, went military, then criminal, then recreational again. BASICALLY I WANT EAMES TO HAVE GOTTEN HIS START IN DREAM-PORN AND THEN HAVE DECIDED TO ROCK A LIFE OF CRIME. WITH OPTIONAL MIDPOINT OF HILARIOUSLY CONSULTING FOR THE MILITARY FROM HIS VAST EXPERIENCE OF DUPING AND SEDUCING OLD RICH DUDES.

I have been making a lot of tiny private posts lately, because there's stuff I want to say, but I only think of it when I'm too tired/busy reading fic/whatever to even bother capitalising shit. So! Have some thoughts:

• I want a million stories about the logistics of superheroing (where "logistics" is anything from "all those nifty gadgets + secret identities = patents???" to "cop's-eye-view of the goddamn Batman, aka, every defense attorney's wet dream come true").


• GUYS I WANT AROMANTIC NOT ASEXUAL KIRK WHERE SOMEBODY MAKES A SLUT-SHAMING JOKE AND HE GOES OFF ON THEM ABOUT IDIC AND RESPECTING DIFFERENCE AND HYPOCRISY, OMG I WANT IT SO MUCH.


• The combination of this icon and this pairing has now made me really want some Lily/girl!Remus. IT WOULD BE LOVELY. Instead of the Marauders, Remus has Lily to suss out his secret and be fiercely protective and there's never any trick sixth year and what with being in love with a girl, Lily never picks a douchebag bully over Snape (you know his pride would totally take it as less a rejection than as a "if I liked dudes, MAYBE!")and BASICALLY EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER IF REMUS HAS NO PENIS.


• Sometimes you just have to look at your own squicks and laugh because dude, slashing within the Batfamily skeeves me more than actualfax incest, what is that.


• For some reason I am convinced that while Sherlock and Patrick Jane would hate each other, Sherlock and Shawn Spencer would find each other FASCINATING.


• Weird little tic of mine: I need girl!Dean to be named Deanna, not Dena or Diana, because Deanna is the feminine of Dean. As in, my RL Aunt Deanna is named for my Grandpa Dean. There are just certain things that are basic knowledge to you and you can't stand when someone gets it wrong (for values of "wrong") and this is one of those things for me. Also, common-law marriage and the security features of US currency. Both of which were gotten WRONG WRONG WRONG on TV shows recently. Dear Psych: There are only twelve states where common-law marriage is still legal. CALIFORNIA IS NOT ONE OF THEM.


• I want a story about Sarah and Kyle, but mostly Sarah, called "always a widow, never a bride" because she was a kid, a kid who fell in love with a handsome soldier and then he died before she ever had a chance to grow out of that first flush of crazy-epic-in-love and grow into loving him; she went straight from the honeymoon to funeral, basically. Kyle died and all her possibilites went with him; she was never going to have more than the child he left her, the child who would become the savior of all mankind and how do you deal with that at eighteen? Alone and pregnant and knowing that this kid is all you'll ever have and this, having him and raising him and letting him go (because it's John Connor saves the world, not John Connor succeeds Sarah Connor in saving the world, and you'd never leave him alone with that if you had a choice, but don't think too hard about how it happens because you've miles to go yet, and no luxury to pace yourself to a finish line - this has to be a sprint that lasts for decades if he's going to make it), this is all that you'll be remembered for. There is nothing you do, nothing you are, that is important to the world except for this separate person kicking in your belly, just egg becomes embryo becomes child becomes humanity's last hope, and you just a vessel, like Mary, your whole life's work waiting in you since birth and completed at nineteen when they hand you that squalling red thing you're going to die for, some day.


• Oh my GOD, how much do I want Inception fic involving a trans character whose appearance in the dreamspace just organically represents their gender identity instead of their physical reality? Not a forgery, just an actual representation of self. Or, oh, oh! A fic about how Eames is the best at what he does partially because he's genderqueer - most people can forge themselves into different appearances, but sexswap/genderswap (I would totally use sexswap, but who says a forgery is only skindeep? Maybe it is closer to genderswap.) reads as a much bigger "change" to the dreamworld and often ends in death-by-projection, while Eames feels that whatever body he's wearing is as true as the one he was born wearing.


• XANDER HARRIS/SLAYERS = OTP FOREVEEEEEER, OH MY GOD. Like, it feels a little weird that my one true doesn't even involve specific people, but it's just, my Xander's a mostly-straight dude who met a cute girl when he was a teenager and ended up devoting himself to a whole group of hot female superheroes, as friend and lover and protector and support staff and Watcher, and now they're part of his identity, his girls, whether he's in love with Buffy or marrying Faith or just roaming around the country with one (or more!) of the baby Slayers, fighting evil and cracking bad jokes.

1) Ariadne pegging the hell out of Eames.

2) Pegging, period.

3) Dream-based genderplay. Do you know how sad it made me to see that inception_kink's genderplay tag was overwhelmingly for always-a-girl!Arthur? Not to be down on always-a-girl or anything, but y'all, REALLY. IF I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO TEST-DRIVE A FLESH-AND-BLOOD, ACTUALLY ATTACHED DICK, I WOULD BE ALL OVER IT.

Like, I want loads of Eames legitmately enjoying himself as a lady - not even as called for by a job! the mark just needs to meet a stranger and be distracted and Eames decides he's going to rock it as a girl because he feels like heels that day - or sometimes he has private time with the PASIV and enjoys himself as '30s starlet or an 19th century ingenue (loves the corset, hates the petticoats, and the one time he tried a hoop skirt he broke his ankle and shot himself in mortification). Or the time he decided to try dreaming himself as an entirely gender-neutral person. Oh, and also loads of Ariadne test-driving a cock, with and without partners, and eventually decides it's nice sometimes, but screw accuracy, losing the breasts just makes her feel off-balance - and a million bonus points if someone hooks into her dream and she's all their futanari fantasies come true.