Shut Up, and Let Me See Your Jazz Hands

So, on my flist, fox1013 mentioned this show, The Jake Effect, and omg, people, I cannot resist a show with Leslie Grossman (Mary Cherry!), Nikki Cox, and Greg Grunberg. So I torrented the first three episodes and I love it. I mean, it fails in some places and the third ep kind of sucked, but I really enjoyed the first one. So I uploaded it.

The Jake Effect, 1x01

Oh, and since once I start uploading, I find it hard to stop, I'll be editing this post with links. Links to what, I'm not sure. Probably the second ep of The Jake Effect, almost definitely some of The Inside, and possibly Little Britain.

And if anyone wants some Bones, Angel, The Evidence, NCIS, Criminal Minds, How I Met Your Mother, or Heist, I've got most of those series on here. Plus random eps of Invader Zim, CSI: NY, Grey's Anatomy, and House.

ETA: The Jake Effect, 1x02. And I've got The Inside pilot and some season one House (the pilot, Poison, and Detox) up here. Plus, I'm currently uploading Three Stories, which is one of my favorite episodes ever. Oh, and the reason these links are from three different sites is that I was trying to find one I liked as much as sendspace, since they capped their uploads at 300 MB.

ETA2: Okay, so I've uploaded Three Stories and episodes one, five, seven, nine, ten, eleven, and thirteen of The Inside. And wow, it's a little bizarre that all my favorite eps of that show are odd-numbered. But people, that show is awesome. It was created by Tim Minear and stars as the incredibly fucked-up Special Agent Rebecca Locke the girl who later became Rachel Gibson on Alias. Plus it's got Peter Coyote as the creepily Svegali-esque Virgil Webb and Adam Baldwin (Jayne!) as Special Agent Danny Love.

There are only thirteen episodes, because Fox sucks, but those thirteen episodes have cannibalism, child killers, and the obligatory hallucination episode. Plus it's got Firefly nods and Amber Benson as a guest star.

If anybody's interested, I can upload more of The Inside, or what season two House I've got handy. Or both. Nothing makes me happier than people liking what I love.

Go here! Go here now, bitches!

If I had self-control, I would have waited until today and read these all in one go and had the best Valentine's ever, but I don't, so I didn't. And so now I shall scream about my favorites and you should all go read them. And, y'know, the others, but mostly these.

It's the (in)famous stripper!AU! Finally complete! With sequels (Learning Curve, Exponential Curves)!

Initial Product Offering. I kind of heart college student!Clark muchly, and the whole thing is basically a big ball of awesomeness. Especially the accidentally-coming-when-Lex-calls (not that way, you filthy whores).

Inertia! It's Hikaru no Go fic! You don't understand! I read the very first American edition of Shonen Jump and I kept up with it through Jessica's subscription and then, later, Tommy's subscription (I miss high school; people pandered to my whims back then...). So I have a secret weakness (for slash especially) for Naruto and Shaman King and Hikaru no Go. And this is slash! And it's heartbreakingly gorgeous! And you all should have already read it, it's that good.

See, I read the first little snippet of this and fell immediately in love with the title ("The Fine and Subtle Art of Cardiology"? How could I not?). And now it's wonderfully larger and it's got House in all his stalkery goodness (I will never forget the recap that described him as "Grumpy McStalkercane") and it's got obliviously slutty Wilson and it's got the ducklings! I love the ducklings! And I love this fic.

You know how much I loved the Hikaru no Go and House fics? Add that love and square it, my friends. (Trigonometric) Proofs is Macdonald Hall fic. And it is beautiful and wonderful and my heart explodes with love for it.

But nothing, nothing, matches my love for this story. IT'S THE SEQUEL TO HINDSIGHT! SHUT UP, THE CAPSLOCK IS COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED! GO, BITCHES, GO!

And if you're reading this, you better just be coming back from reading More Than, else I shun you forever and aye. SHUN! Shun like the Amish shun punk rock!

Now that that's taken care of...

I read this random conversation and was very sad when that story did not appear. And then I saw One Life to Ascend To and the joy knew no bounds. It is wondrousness and loveliness and all y'all should read it now, especially if you have anything like my unholy love for the soap opera.

And then today, Visiting Hours. It is monstrous long, and I did manage to resist reading any part of this series until VH was complete (go, delayed gratification!), so now I'm off to do that. But I already know it's going to be awesome. Because it's Pru's version of Clark and Lex's canon son.

So. Happy ficcing. And Happy Valentine's Day.

ETA: OMG, you don't know how much trouble I went to so as to link to that conversation. I had to go through like 80 lj entries. I'd bookmarked, because, hey, soap operas, but then MSN went crazy and...whole big thing.

Also, couple things I meant to mention?

I feel I should get some kind of medal for all the uploading and sharing I have done today. I have spread joy wherever I have gone to-day.

Medal.

And I like pastry. All pastry. Just for being pastry.

Only watched two shows tonight, unlike last Tuesday. And they both pissed me off.

With NCIS, it was a quibble with the B-plot. Yes, the A-plot was contrived, but it gave us some good team moments, even if it did contain unnecessary amounts of Madame Director.

But the B-plot. With the sperm bank. Just...the reason they gave for the call doesn't make sense. Sperm donors give up all rights to the donated genetic material, whether or not it's used to make a child. Unless it's a situation like Tony brought up (child needs marrow/organ), or a problem is discovered (previously unknown genetic disorder, etc.), the donor shouldn't be contacted again by the clinic. The clinic can do whatever they want with the sperm; say they were calling to notify him that since no one wanted his sperm, they were going to destroy it. There's no reason for them to do that. Also, if sperm isn't used in insemination, it's often sold at a discount for research or educational purposes. And sperm can be stored indefinitely; it's not a use-it-or-lose-it proposition. And there's no reason for this to have been handled by "the director of critical affairs".

Also, it's kind of weird that no one used the sperm. Tony's an attractive man. He's also intelligent and athletic enough to play at the college level. And light-eyed donors are popular.

It just seems like a really random plot.

House I was fine with - right up until the last five minutes. House is getting punished more harshly than Chase? Supervisor what? Foreman's in charge now? Before we even hit the promos I was ranting about crazy plot twists that should be undone right now.

Then we hit the promos. And oh my god, if Cuddy betrays House the way it looks like she's going to, I WILL CRY. Like, shed actual tears.

Okay, probably not. But...but...I read the story with the crazy Farscape crossover and the OT3 of World Domination and now it's in my head! And...and...CRY.

I thought it'd be a night of great tv and then it turned all mediocre and then it went all aggravating and nonsensical.

Though I did enjoy the majority of both shows. it was just those little bits that make me all crazy.

Also, the episode of Criminal Minds I was so happy about yester - this morning - turned out to be a rerun of my least favorite episode so far. Which is the suck.

Alyssa, I warn you now, I don't think there's going to be anything in here to really interest you. It's fanfiction and television and dreams. But possibly I will throw something in at the end for you. No promises. 'Cause you are a whore.

Okay, fine, I know I just did the self-righteous thing on finishing (reading) the stories you start, but now I'm gonna add a little...call it a codicil.

There are things I just can't read. My brain will not wrap around them. And this is coming from the girl who actively enjoys AUs, mpregs, and episode-fixes. I have read *healing-penis fic*. What I'm saying is, I'm pretty flexible in the brain (not the body. like, at all.).

Started a story where John's smarter than Rodney...not gonna finish it. Accidentally started a story where Rodney sleeps around on John...not gonna finish it. Even more accidentally started a Tara/Spike story (nifty title, no summary)...never, ever gonna finish it.

There are things I can't buy. Some of them are small things, like the fact that I, *personally*, can't see Rodney cheating on *anyone* consistently; everyone can do it once, but for him, as a *pattern* of behavior, it doesn't scan for me.

Then there are the bigger things. To me, Tara is a lesbian. I *cannot*, under any circumstances, see her sleeping with a man of her own free will. We are never given any indication that she's attracted to men, and any fic that disagrees, that places her in a male/female sexual relationship, contains what is to me, at best, an AU Tara.

And yeah, I know. Most of the characters I slash are explicitly heterosexual. Why should the explicitly homosexual get special treatment? But there are also those characters that I can't and won't slash. Yes, they are few and far between, but they exist. And it's not that I won't slash them for squick reasons (unless you're talking, like, Dobby). Hell, I've read *multiple* Snape/Hagrid fics. But Foreman and Cameron and Stabler are just as set-in-stone straight to me as Tara is set-in-stone not.

Anyway. Back off the soapbox.

I love Fox right now. Don't worry, that's only the temporary euphoria talking. I watched Bones and was *so* happy and then came House and oh, Fox, I love you.

Hodgins and Zack live together! They carpool every day! Brennan gets a say in Angela's career decisions! I want slash, and also much, much femmeslash. For once, I would actually trade the slash *for* the femmeslash. Come on! Angela and the courier-girl and then Brennan finds out and gets jealous and confesses her sekrit gay love! And Angela swears not to quit her job and leave Brennan alone, because then Brennan would be forced to have rebound sex with Booth. Or that could be the fic.

Angela leaves because she can't keep drawing "death masks" and Brennan has rebound sex with Booth because she is drunk and lonely and desolate (best word ever, desolate, makes me melt every time) and then Angela comes back and possibly kicks Booth's ass (not, y'know, physically, although she probably could, 'cause I don't think he'd hit her back) and smacks Brennan around (again, not physically) re: Brennan's keeping the big gay love a secret. And then there is sex, 'cause Angela knew going in that Brennan had no people skills and was kind of emotionally retarded.

Or, you know, Zack finds out that Hodgins has been letting his super-rich family think Zack is his kept boy. Because Hodgins likes to rebel against the man, even though he is secretly destined to be the man, because he doesn't want to be! And then there is angst, followed by sex. Possibly they could solve a mystery. I don't care, I'm not hard to please.

Anyway. House! House has been conducting experiments on Wilson! For more than a year! To "objectively measure how much [Wilson] values their friendship" (results say: as worth at least $5000). And House's daddy issues!

Mmkay, now to the dream thing: Slept a lot today (had a mini-breakdown which I decided to blame on lack of sleep, so skipped all classes). Had strange dreams and, after waking, wrote (typed, really) them out, because it's unusual for me to remember multiple dreams.

Have decided to share (this is exactly what I typed then, just spell-checked.):

"I've been in bed all day having strange dreams.

the one where Richard punched me in the stomach really hard while my mom just stood by and my appendix burst and I died and it strikes me now that dream-Richard actually had three hands, 'cause he punched me while also holding down both my arms so I couldn't block the punch

then the one where I was at college for the first time and I had rare (and really freaking cool) tropical fish (and while the number of fish stayed the same, the number of tanks kept changing). anyway for some reason I had three roommates (all in one room) and I hated the first two, a guy & a girl, who were dating. I spent a lot of my time on the computer ignoring their mocking (shades of Megan, anyone?) and then there was the third roommate who also mocked but I mocked back and possibly there was flirting (I wasn't sure in the dream and I'm not now). at least she liked the fish. I was possibly a misanthrope because I refused to go to the nifty-cool welcome party (welcome costume party) the college was throwing but somehow I ended up there anyway and we were all dressed as brides or grooms or, for some people, both (and there was much crossdressing as well) and for some reason all the dresses and the tuxes pretty much looked the same. and then I spotted Nathan Fillion (one of the bride-*and*-groom people) and ran up to him and hugged him right before Paul Spradlin could do it (I'd heard Paul bellow "Nathan Fillion" from somewhere behind me and Paul totally would have cracked his ribs) and babbled at him about how I loved him in Two Guys & a Girl and loved him more in Firefly and how my love become irrevocable after all the interviews and things where I was forced to stop being all "he's pretty! and can act!" and admit he himself was pretty damn cool and how I was sorry to fangirl and run but I'd seen Joe Flanigan (which I had) and that meant that somewhere, there might be David Hewlett, and I had to go see, but that Nathan was still one of my top three favorite celebrities *ever* (the list, in the dream at least, was Joss Whedon, Nathan Fillion, David Hewlett, though not necessarily in that order). and then I ran off into the sea of brides and grooms

and finally there was the one that was a cross between an old tv show (grounded for life), a trilogy of horror movies that may or may not actually exist, and real life, with a soupcon of credit card commercial. there was Halloween and Christmas and monsters and evil devil candy and my family and an office building and some other stuff that I'm remembering less and less as the seconds tick past"

And now, for Alyssa:

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2044744

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2044745

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2044747

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2044748

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2044749

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2044753