I am dissatisfied. With the world, apparently. I'm looking at things that excited me yesterday and today all I can muster up is a resounding "eh". Thumbs down, self.

My cat is oddly quiet? Like, he purrs a lot, but he vocalizes less than any other cat I've had. And when he does make noise, it's weird noise. Most frequent vocalization being "ah-AH-ah" - "I would like to eat him/that/you!".

In other news, hsmbigbang started posting today - with femslash! - and oz_big_bang is supposed to go live tomorrow. rpf_big_bang has been posting for several days, but so far hasn't coughed up any of the stories I'm really excited for. ( The ones I am anticipating: )

On that note, I love it when the summary/claiming posts are left unlocked; it is a quick and awesome (if not 100% accurate) way to judge how excited I should be for a partic. big bang.

ETA: Also, in the last hour, I have watched two videos - one a mainstream pop vid and the other a Tampax ad, of all things - centered on fanfic cliches. And not even "also popular in profic" cliches! Mpreg and "woke up a girl"!

So bandgirlsbang went live, like, two weeks ago?

( Stories I'm going to read once I tear myself away from all the poorly-grammared but strangely compelling QAF fic. )

I am totally in an emo have-I-read-everything-good-already? mood. So I'm going to blather at y'all for a while before I sulk off to re-read...something. I want to read Secrets, and HP & the Nightmare of Futures Past, and I Am What I Am, and Defender of the Night, and the Resurrection-verse, but I can already reel off whole sections of those from memory, so. I want something epic and ass-kicking and romantic and if there was non-permanent death, that would be ace, really.

So I am - obviously - not a hardcore shipper or anything (with two exceptions), but sometimes I think that just makes it harder when I dislike a pairing. Because I can look at it and be like, "I'd like to read it, I love that author and that is exactly the kind of ridiculous h/c premise I so love, but I cannot. My brain is willing, but the inner fangirl is in active revolt at the idea."

Sometimes I find a pairing genuinely creepy on its own merits (*cough*Harry/Ginny*cough*), but mostly I seem to hit a problem with the way I approach fandom, which is more difficult, because that is unlikely to change. I have to have someone to root for, apparently, because if it is a fandom for me? I have a favorite. I am there for the favorite, and the favorite only. I am usually ambivalent at best about pairings not involving the favorite, because I want the favorite to have all the boys and girls, basically. It's not a hard and fast rule - I am interested in basically all of the (main) BtVS characters, and I have a hierarchy of favorites in bandom (one for each band, but Brendon Urie trumps everybody) - but it's how I roll 90% of the time.

Like, Gerard is my favorite; my most-read Gerard pairing is with Frank. Therefore, in my head, Frank is with Gerard or Jamia or nobody; I have negative interest in anything else. Gerard can be with anybody, but my inner fangirl has put a little sign on Frank that says "reserved for Gerard and/or Jamia, since I am not quite crazy enough to ignore the awesome RL lady of his choice". The same thing with Pete: Patrick or Ashlee or nobody. Which means I don't get to read much Mikey fic, which is sad and actually what started this; I only got to read half of Discipline and Punish and that is an awesome series and looks really interesting and the Bob/Gerard was great and I totally ship it and I still cannot manage the Mikey/Frank half. Is very sad.

I am a little bitter about the Panic split because I'll read Brendon/Spencer, but what I really shipped (fictionally! I am not a tinhat!) was GSF and somehow, I don't think there'll be much more of that.

Early Hannah Howell novels feel a lot like fanfiction in places. Or internet original fiction, I suppose. There's just a vibe there, like she might secretly have written massive h/c epics under another name. Plus, her awesome hand-waving of things like women wearing underwear and men who think rape is wrong and people not trying to set psychics on fire; it's very "I know and acknowledge this isn't factually correct, but it's how I want to play it, just go with me". Although you know who should be a fangirl but almost certainly isn't? Bertrice Small. She totally loves worldbuilding and using actual historical figures (Jasmine totes has a love affair - with baby! - with actual-doomed Prince Hal) and h/c and slavefic (every other story ends up in a harem in Algiers) and she could really benefit from a good beta.

I totally want slash for RocknRolla; there is an actualfax gay hoodlum in actualfax love with his best friend/gangleader. There is...no, I don't want to spoil it, it was too hilarious. Suffice to say, if it doesn't show up at Yuletide, I will be very sad.

Seriously. Nothing to read. Send recs.

So I posted an RPF list, What Fourth Wall?, on the 6th and then I heard about the Panic break-up two hours later and totally spaced it. But it's bandom (some Big Bang, some not), American Idol, Gossip Girl, Star Trek XI, and SPN, plus Lil Wayne and Amanda Palmer (who maybe counts as bandom, even though she's not in a bandom band? I don't even know anymore).

ALSO. There's this thing? This awesome, awesome thing? Where they're taking bandom hurt/comfort prompts?

( I maybe got a little enthusiastic (ETA: 41 =/= maybe). )

And Kari Sperring's Living with Ghosts had me at line one of the blurb: "Gracielis, the failed assassin priest turned courtesan and spy..." There is Tragic Gay Love, but with heavily hinted sequel possibility! I don't know, I'll tell you more once I've, y'know, read it, instead of just sneaking the ending. And then I bought some romance novels, because some happy endings would be ace right now, and a couple YA books, including one, Graceling, that - brace yourselves - appears to feature a platonic friendship between male and female heterosexual teenagers.

Fred the Killer is a tiny, adorable moron. I came home Saturday to find him stuck to a glue trap in the laundry room. Like, completely. He apparently pounced on the thing? I don't know how else he was attached to the middle by all four legs and the tail.

In fandom news, I read Ryan Seacrest/Simon Cowell this morning and I blame ALL OF YOU. Entirely. I have never seen a single episode of Idol! Goddammit. Stop getting your Jonas brothers and your Idol contestants in my bandom; I don't need more fandoms, yet I cannot say no when you tell me about international roadtripping and best frenemies and my new favorite boys' name of all-time, Bonus Jonas.

In conclusion, send Simon/Ryan recs, please. Or stage an intervention. Whichever.

Normally this would be an SIC post, but that would involve googling French and I don't want to.

( Bandom, Harry Potter, bandom, television, fandom, bandom, books, Queer As Folk, Harry Potter, bandom, Harry Potter... )

Oh my god, I love this story so much. I just finished Comes Out of Darkness Morn and I am sitting here like BRING ON THE REVOLUTION. Like seriously, fuck you, Dumbledore. YOUR STATUS QUO SUCKS OR HE WOULDN'T BE TRYING TO CHANGE IT.

Also, how so OTP, Harry and Draco? I had totally forgotten about it, but Draco's little scene after the Owlery, where he's pouting and deciding how best to get back at Harry and then Harry comes in and he's so happy and apologizes and Draco just breaks out "I would forgive you for anything right now"? I was flailing. God, it's so much more romantic to me when characters hurt each other and fail and work at it than when they just fall into some meant-to-be always-and-forever.

Also, MINERVA MCGONAGALL, you guys. I love her SO HARD. Honestly, she could not be more awesome without giving me, like, actual heart failure.

Also, ALSO, I will be reading and randomly musing on the SA as a Bert/Gerard epic and giggling to myself, because Pete as the wild Dark and Greta as Hermione and especially Frank as Dionysus will never not be hilarious. Dude, I think Bob might be Adalrico. Brendon = Ignifer, Jon = Honoria, Tyson = Tybalt, Nick Wheeler = John, Gabe = Evan, so I now cannot decide if Maja or Victoria is Henrietta. Whichever, the other one is totally the Red Death. AMANDA PALMER IS TOTALLY THE SCARY PUELLARIS WITCH. ETA: You know, the one that tried to eat Lily's FACE. Best. Trial. Ever.

And on that note, I am off to read Freedom And Not Peace.

pairings i love but don't read enough of:
frank/gerard/lyn-z
gerard/lyn-z
brendon/ryan/keltie
brendon/shane
jon/brendon/cassie
brendon/spencer/haley
bob/brendon
bob/brendon/greta (idk! in my head it's amazing!)
brendon/patrick/greta
gerard/patrick
bob/gerard
brian/gerard
bert/gerard (nursing home reconciliation with geriatric sex!)
pete/patrick/ashlee

Turn Off the Shyness, 50 stories featuring Patrick Stump, completed and posted at long last.

Next up, looks like BtVS crossovers (31 and counting).

First, bonus rec: Rodney Loves Pegasus (the good parts version), SGA, Rodney/Teyla, pegging. It's hot and hilarious and awesome. I heart pegging so much, you guys. As you will see.

I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about bandom stories I wish I could read.

• Brendon is a voice actor for Disney.
  
  
• BTW, everyone should write more pegfic, come on, I want Patrick getting pegged! Or Gerard in a skirt, blowing Frank while Lyn-Z pegs him - it would be a hat trick of MCR things I love!
  
  
• Sometimes all Pete wants is a really dirty selfish blowjob but he can't fuck up Patrick's voice or Patrick'll give him a dead leg.
  
  
• OMG, you guys, the story where Lyn-Z takes Gerard-in-drag out clubbing. I want it so bad.
  
  
• Gerard worries that Umbrella Academy's numbers are more about Gerard Motherfucking Way and less about the comic itself so he publishes an indie comic under another name, being supersecretive about it until Mikey brings one onto the bus and reads it in front of him really pointedly and yeah, he is totally busted.
  
  
• Bob Bryar takes no shit from zombies.
  
  
• Brendon vs. William, cutthroat Go Fish, stakes: one Jonathan Jacob Walker.
  
  
• Brendon fights with his band and runs away...to Gabe's basement.
  
  
• AAR gets someone to try calf fries.
  
  
• Brendon is surrounded by couples. Who keep asking him for threesomes. And he keeps saying yes, because hey, threesomes! But no one wants to keep him. And then someone does, because I like happy endings.
  
  It would be awesome, because come on, Jon/Cassie/Brendon, Shane/Regan/Brendon, Spencer/Haley/Brendon, Ryan/Keltie/Brendon, Pete/Ashlee/Brendon, all are smoking hot combinations.
  
  
• I...kind of want to read the story where a fan sends Gabe a snake and his band then finds out that in real life, he is incredibly creeped out by their little unblinking soulless eyes. And the snake gets loose somewhere on the bus. Gabe refuses to be left alone until a successful capture.
  
  Obviously should end in GSF, because that's pretty much how I want all CS stories to end.
  
  
• A Panic GSF version of Beauty & the Beast, where Brendon is Beauty, Spencer is the Beast, Ryan is Cogsworth, and Jon is Lumiere.
  
  
• Brendon the hairstylist falls in love with the lead actor of the TV series he works on.
  
  
• Novelist Ryan finds his muse in stripper Brendon. Harlequinesque and cheesy and hilarious!
  
  
• Single father Patrick has no time for romance, but business tycoon Pete isn't used to taking no for an answer.
  
  
• Music major Patrick falls for campus activist Andy and woos him with protest songs.
  
  
• Gerard stars in a cabaret. Frank falls in love with her on stage and again with him sitting at the bar.
  
  
• The dance company AU, Pete's the director, Patrick's the choreographer, Ryan, William, and Brendon are principals, Gabe's always challenging people to dance-offs, and Jon's the new guy.
  
  
• More gangbangs always. But I also want morning-after-gangbang where Brendon (...random example) is all sore and his band spoils him because it's their fault but he can't take advantage because what if they feel too guilty and won't do it again?
  
  
• Five drinking games that aren't I Never.
  
  
• Spencer Smith: art thief.