Shut Up, and Let Me See Your Jazz Hands

I really want the AO3 to have a "download series" option. Because ~20,000 words spread over ten fics is just irritating.

I'm 39 stories into the Teen Wolf list. People need to write more fic so I can finish it. I am fishbowling so hard. Like, I've opened my in-case-of-emergency Teen Wolf longfic (I highly recommend keeping similar on your Kindle, btw) and tapped out four times this weekend. It's so long and the tags are so good, you guys, but the first word is literally "harken" and I cannot even deal with that stylistic choice. That is why it's the in-case-of-emergency fic. It's really, really yes, but at the same time, really, really NO.

Not gonna lie: I spend a significant amount of time after uploading new icons just staring at the expanded icons page and going MY TASTE IS AMAZING AND I WANT A COLLAGE OF THESE BEAUTIFUL MOTHERFUCKERS. Also, I have some very definite patterns in taste. It's kind of weird to be like, huh, I...really prefer close-up shots only after staring at a page where more than half of my 250 icons ARE CLOSE-UP SHOTS. Also enjoy: saturated colors and text only. Do not enjoy: animated icons or icons with many effects - I apparently feel the point should be made through your cropping and/or text, or not at all. Like, I save a lot of icons that don't fall along those lines? But those are apparently not the icons I end up using.

All I want to eat is IHOP, but IHOP is a cool 40 minutes away. Chickasha is a terrible town. Although it does make googling shit easier - there is only one. Anywhere.

Fucking store inventory. It is a once a year shitshow. We are missing $1200+ in jewelry that never leaves its locked case. For real, somebody's got sticky fingers. Also, I work six days next week. The money's good, but oh, chances of me flipping out on someone are high.

Relatedly, nothing makes you feel great about your life-choices like seeing an old news article about migrant workers and their slave-wages and seeing your ACTUAL FUCKING WAGES there. Legitimately, after five years and a "promotion", I make $9.00/hr.

I want season 3 of Lost Girl so baaaad, you guys. They are so good at ladies being friends and having adventures! Bo/Kenzi is my brotp forever, y'all. Like, if I want girls being friends as a major part of the storyline, it's mostly Lost Girl and Cougar Town and maaaybe Big Bang Theory (Penny and Amy? legit my favorite part of the show). Relatedly, I need the new season of Cougar Town.

I feel weird about Avengers fandom, in that I love Tony Stark THE MOST, HE IS MY BELOVED, and I could kind of give a shit about Steve Rogers? Which is not the way most of fandom seems to have come down on the issue. It's not the first fandom where that's happened to me (hi, Star Trek TOS! hi, DS9 and Naruto and HIMYM and and and), but it's still fucking weird. There's also some weirdness because I got deep into Avengers right after the first Iron Man movie and imprinted on a lot of comics stuff and apparently my head-canon is very definite about where comics-verse and movies-verse can blur and where they CANNOT. Basically? Movies-Tony and Extremis = NOOOOOO.

Only semi-relatedly, I really want movies-Asgard to end up in Oklahoma somehow because 1) that is fucking hilarious and 2) they might actually film some stuff in Oklahoma, which excites me because a) Oklahoma is actually really fucking pretty and does not really get credit for it and b) I could totally drive to see that.

I am actually going to attempt it this year, which means I get to nom things!

Current (hopefully final - I can't take more brackets) nominations are:

The Inside (tv): Rebecca Locke! I just love her a lot, you guys. She is badass and competent and totally, totally crazy. Also, y'know, Rachel Nichols; I heart her (P2 just lost out to Kick Ass in the brackets).

Kick Ass (movie): Hit Girl is amazing (she totally thinks Batman is a pussy) and I'm pretty sure Mindy Macready/Sam Puckett is the best crossover OTP I have ever had.

Lorna Freeman - Borderlands novels: I NEED IT. I NEED IT SO MUCH. IF I COULD ONLY PICK ONE, IT WOULD BE THIS. LIKE, OBVS I AM VERY IN FAVOR OF RABBIT GETTING *ALL* THE BOYS, BUT AT THIS POINT, I AM TOTALLY OKAY WITH GEN RABBIT AND WILN SORCEROUS SHENANIGANS. JUST GIVE ME FIC!

P C Hodgell - Chronicles of the Kencyrath: Jame/Bane was my kinky OTP before I knew what kink or OTPs were. Violence! Bloodplay! Incest! IT COULD BE RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS. Also, there's amnesia and apocalypses and philosophy and thieves and assassins and fealty and magic and it's all about a totally badass lady who's more comfortable fucking you up than talking about "feelings" (she fucks around with the existence of a god just to see if she can! I LOVE HER).

Painkiller Jane: The show is kind of terrible, but it has the bones of an awesome universe and then there is JANE. Jane is like Claire Petrelli, Max Guevara, and Sara Pezzini had a baby and she is AWESOME.

Wen Spencer - Ukiah Oregon series: Ukiah! But also Atticus! Atticus/Ru! Canonical OTP! And you know what's also canon? ALIEN SEX DRUGS MADE THEM DO IT. ROUGHLY. Oh yeah, and also, THEY FIGHT CRIME.

Man, I need to check for clean electronic copies of these books. EXPECT THEM TO APPEAR ON THE BOOK FILTER SHORTLY. They may not be pretty versions, but THEY WILL BE THERE.

I keep thinking about things I want to say and then thinking "I don't have enough to make a whole post" and screw that, so.

Does anybody watch Saving Grace? Because I would actually like to see it (shows are never set in Oklahoma!), but I have a problem: Holly Hunter is too white to be playing someone called Grace Hanadarko. I live near Anadarko and it gives me cognitive dissonance to hear the name/see a blonde. Does the character at least have some kind of Caddo heritage? Or did they just co-opt the name? Also, I am a little leary of their handling of the Murrah bombing, which is apparently an ongoing plotpoint.

I have a total kink for stories where everybody knows the canon's big secret (declassification of the Stargate Program, Sentinels-are-known AUs, etc.). The glimpses of a powerful, organized, and public Slayers and Watchers Council are a big part of why I love I Am What I Am so much. Unsung heroes getting fame and recognition = WOULD LIKE MORE FOREVER, PLEASE.

This is me.

I'm working on a mix. It's going to be called Go Into Your Emo-Corner: The Overidentification Mix and full of songs that I can't put on playlists because if they catch me in the wrong mood, they cause uncontrollable weeping or leave me screaming along because IT IS A SONG THAT SPEAKS TO MY SOUL. OR, Y'KNOW, MY EMO. WHICHEVER. Also, "get into your emo-corner!" is a line from a Transformers fic about Starscream emailing a domestic abuse center and it makes me laugh and laugh. Because domestic abuse isn't funny, but Starscream giving himself etchings because Megatron doesn't love him anymore and lets Soundwave badtouch him with tentacles is HILARIOUS.

( Spoiler for Prince of Persia movie )

So ladiesbigbang is going to be a one-off for me. Finding 150 stories that are a) awesome and b) at least 75% lady-focused is hard when I can't predict what fandoms I'm going to be into during the creation period. Like, if I could manage to revisit HP or bandom for more than a couple days at a time, this would be much easier, but fannish ennui is not really something you can arrange to suit a schedule. Working from backlog, I should be able to swing this round (I will be personally disappointed if I can't manage more than 150 just from backlog), but another round? Extremely unlikely.

I am terrible at answering comments and I'm sorry! I read them all and appreciate them and try to respond eventually...you just might be getting that reply notification a few days/weeks after you've forgotten about the original post. There's a whole thing in my brain about how replies should be substantive and so I wibble around trying to meet an imaginary standard and it's, like I said, a whole Thing.

I am kind of burnt out on profic? Everything feels the saaaaaame.

Next year, fuck it, I will go to another state to attend a fandom con. The last couple scifi "fandom" cons have just not really done it for me. This last one was especially poorly run - panelists openly admitted to having no idea what the topic meant, panels had zero description anywhere so there was a lot of guesswork, panels ran completely off the rails ("Great Bubbas in Science Fiction" turned into "Trials and Tribulations of Running a Small Independent Press"...within the first ten minutes). The arguments for attending Oklahoma cons were always cost and the chance to meet people I could have regular meatspace interaction with and since the second's never worked out, I might as well say fuck it to the first and just start saving now.

I remain totally sad that more people don't watch/love Rollerball.It is a totally shitty movie with one of the most CATHARTIC ENDINGS OF ALL TIME. Like, Chris Klein and his character are basically incidental to the point of it, which is that if you push the common people too far, they will FUCK YOUR SHIT UP AND SET IT ON FIRE.

And thank you fandom, I am now totally likely to accidentally use the word "amazeballs" at work.

If I have to pretend to smile while one more jackass says "Don't mark that [bill], I just made it this morning! Hur, hur, hur!", I will CUT SOMEBODY. Also, if we check it, and your bill is counterfeit, we will not "take it up with the bank, 'cause that's where [you] got it!" We will take it up with the cops, because we are not detectives or investigators of any sort; we are a store, not the Secret Service.

So I am reading some favorite-cliche stories (X goes back in time to save the ones they love!) and, confession: I ship Wesley/Illyria desperately. It was honestly the only storyline I gave a damn about in those final episodes, and the biggest reason I regretted the cancellation, because rumor had it they were actually going to go there. I cannot watch the "would you like me to lie to you now" scene without weeping, I ship it so hard. Her gaspy "my love, oh! my love" is so clearly an epiphany and it KILLS ME DEAD. Unf.

Joss Whedon is kind of an amazing bastard at getting me to fall in love with his characters' relationships.

( So, the various ships (of many fandoms) that I LOVE, in no particular order )

Mediocre-to-okay media things that have surprised me recently:

5ive Girls - Weird religious horror movie with lesbian schoolgirls = cheesy fun, right? But even though the main villain is very explicitly a Christian demon (Legion, aka the one Jesus banished), one of the girls isn't Christian and makes a protection circle by calling on her Goddess and it totally works. Surprising!

The Listener - Comparisons of telepathy to rape even though the telepath is the hero! And there's even a whole argument about how even though he, Toby, is a good person, that doesn't mean her argument is invalid. Also there is a thing about Toby's third foster home dad who never touched him, just thought about it every night, and how it was before Toby learned to block people out and "it was just a matter of time" and also Toby getting taken over by someone else's nightmare when he gets flashes of a girl's rape.

Death Angel - Romance novel where the hero is a sociopath (assassin, very little emotion, no personal connections other than business, no attachments to possessions) who's kind of interested in the heroine, but still honestly debating whether or not to just kill her (girl he kind of admires/sticking it to a guy who irritates him vs. 2 million dollars). There's some change when he watches her die in an accident he caused, but the big change in his thinking really only comes after he sees her alive again and perfectly okay and it seems to be equally composed of "she's a miracle" and "holy shit there's life after death what does this mean for me?". And he ends the book still absolutely willing to not just kill to protect her, but willing to commit cold-blooded, pre-emptive murder to protect her.

Because just like the movies, Die Hard fandom is ridiculous. Just. Go read this: Heroes Never Die (Except When They Do), my new favorite deathfic. John McClane dies the world's oldest badass.

No, really, that totally deserves capslock; this was the longest I've gone without a cat in my life (3 years). We are weird with pets? We seem to stagger them so that we always have at least one. But now there are two!

My kitten seems to have been named Fred the Killer. I got him from a customer while I was at work and one of the guys was making fun of the name he came with (Garfield) and talking about the ferocious names he should have. This is kind of hilarious because, y'all, he is the size of my hand. He is an orphan, so he is tiny and adorable and very, very clingy.

He is also the first of my birthday presents to myself. We're not really...big on birthdays. Dad'll give us/shell out a nice chunk of change, plus cards from a handful of relatives from Mom's side, but that's about it. There have been several years where I forgot it was my birthday.

So far my birthday plans are: day at a bookstore; nice meal out with one of my new books; finally give in and buy a copy of Rollerball, because I have now seen the end of that movie more than a dozen times. The rest of the movie is okay, I guess, but that last half hour is AMAZING. The soundtrack is perfect, the violence is actually disturbing, there is a cathartic riot, and there is something actually kind of interesting about all the killing. You know how in action movies, the hero kills everyone who gets in his way? He's aiming for the Big Bad and he'll kill any minions that get between them, while a lot of other minions flee in terror. Here? The good guys chase down and brutally murder anyone working for that guy. Sometimes with their bare hands. I can't quite articulate what I think about that, but it's interesting.

Normally this would be an SIC post, but that would involve googling French and I don't want to.

( Bandom, Harry Potter, bandom, television, fandom, bandom, books, Queer As Folk, Harry Potter, bandom, Harry Potter... )

Dude, how did I not know that the Small Fandom Big Bang featured Die Hard? And Psych! Plus, there are no stories yet, but there is a section for Vor fic!

This trend is awesome, please to be continuing it, kthx.

And y'all, I need me some crossovers. Agent 47 is AWESOME and hot and badass and also? Pretty blatant tattoo fetish. So of course, I immediately went to a Michael Burrows/47 place. Or 47/Rusty Ryan!

But mostly, those clips of Dark Angel at the beginning gave me a yen for Zack/47. Max/47 or Alec/47 if you really want, but I think Zack's pragmatism'd work best.

In other news, I have been gorging myself on Torchwood fic. I'm kind of in love.

I can't quit.

And it makes me sad. Because in the last few days, I have gained four new fandoms.

And to my knowledge, two of them have no fic at all.

Which is sad, 'cause one's a horrible borderline-zombie movie, and the other is a caper-flick with Ryan Reynolds as part of the OT3 of Theoretical Master Thievery. And David Hewlett plays a bit part!

Ryan Reynolds! He picks locks and is a chem-nerd! And his girlfriend is a pickpocket with mad acrobatic skillz! And his boyfriend is a slightly morally ambiguous geek with mad acting skillz! Together, they plan crime!

See, this'd be a perfect yuletide request if, 1) it wasn't too late, and 2) I'd been eligible in the first place.

The other two, if you're curious, are Dawn of the Dead and Blade: Trinity. Both of which've got me reading het and liking it.

Oh, wait, I lie. It's five fandoms.

'Cause I could really go for some Riley/Charlie/actually-kinda-badass-hooker-whose-name-I-can't-remember. Or some Riley/Cholo. Land of the Dead.

Sonovabitch, six. Some OT3 fic from Day of the Dead (original 1985 version) would not be amiss. Or just some slash with the alcoholic techie and the mellow pilot.

I told you, zombie movies! All weekend! Zombie and caper and vampire movies. And if there exists anywhere a caper movie with zombies and/or vampires, my heart will explode with love.