Shut Up, and Let Me See Your Jazz Hands

New Anne Bishop! Really liked it (not as good as the first, better than the second), and I freaking loved Hope. Actually trying not to think about it too much, because it's another year before the next book. I 100% had a private midnight release party, though, where I set an alarm for a quarter to midnight so I could hunt it down ASAP and read it immediately. Ugh, I just love this worldbuilding so fucking much.

I housesat for my dad last week, which afforded me the opportunity to play Saints Row IV. I bought the game of the century or whatever edition for like $8 in January only to realize, after two days of downloading, that hey, this game is not compatible with XP. That game is fucking awesome, except for the number of missions that require me to drive cars or motorcycles. Tanks and aircraft I can totally handle, but the "steer with A & D" mechanic is BULLSHIT. I failed Matt's loyalty mission upwards of eight times before I started clawing at my own face and had to stop, because I COULD NOT keep close enough to Nyteblade. Playing as the bisexual Latina President of the United States is seriously the best, though. And I would play the main Asha quest again just for the dialogue. ♥

I also got to spend the week hanging out with my cat and y'all, I keep forgetting how goddamn weird he is. Like, don't get me wrong, I couldn't have ended up with a cat better suited to me if I had designed him, but seriously. Giant fucking weirdo. He does this thing? Where he steals my elastic hairbands, but only if they're used and smell like my hair. And then he will carry them around and play with them and place them in the center of his food and/or water bowls. On the other hand, he is the chillest cuddler of a cat I've ever had. Most cats, you move more than twice and they are out, they can find a better place to sleep. With Fred, I can move me, I can move him, I can lean the chair back, whatever. He will legitimately lay on me for 6 hours or more. I say 6 hours because that is pretty much the longest I can have a cat on me and not fall asleep, but I have spent 12 hours in the recliner and woken up to find him in the same spot, so.

Just surfacing from a deep dive into Hobbit fandom. Or into Bilbo/Thorin, really. I kind of have a fandom hangover? From a poor dismount?

It's like you acquired a fuckton of delicious chocolate and then after you ate a bunch and it was amazing and you went for more, you found out that actually, you had eaten all the chocolate and all the enticing stuff you were staring at was in reality CAROB.

In other words, that feeling of "why does this story have so many fucking kudos when it is blatantly a poor imitation of the awesome story I read earlier" times a bunch of stories in a row = bitterness and ennui. And stalking keelywolfe and scarletjedi for updates.

Can't wait for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Friday! Also excited for: Battle Creek (first ep free on Vudu), Community (March 17!), and CSI: Cyber, because I have a weirdly deep affection for James Van Der Beek? It's not even mostly Dawson's Creek related (I was definitely a Pacey girl); he just seems so willing to laugh at himself and it's really fucking charming.

I've been watching various episodes of QI and the Big Fat Quiz on youtube and being jealous of British game shows. American game shows do not get to tell that many dirty jokes. Noel Fielding requesting "a blowie from the puppet" to participate remains the best.

Currently looking through old ebook recs for authors I need to check for new books. Mary Calmes has something that looks awesome, but after her last few, I'm trying not to get too excited. Spotted an interesting looking Robin Roseau scifi on Amazon and am torn between "space trade and culture clashes are two of my favorites! ROWNT FOREVER" and lingering "it's a TRAP" feelings from the Madison Wolves series (FUCK that series, SO hard).

Fingers crossed for something good, because I am like...three disappointments away from a long cranky wallow in "shit I have read before that I know won't hurt me".

You know, Amazon's second stab at ebook libraries. Personally, I'm finding it a fuck of a lot more useful than the Lending Library.

I don't think I'd pay $9.99 a month every month, but I HIGHLY recommend at least giving the free trial a whirl, especially if you like queer and/or indie ebooks. I've picked up a bunch of stuff - since I don't have wireless access, I've been using the apartment complex's computer to download the allowed 10 books to USB, return them, and download 10 more, repeat as needed. When your Kindle syncs, all books not currently checked out will be removed from your device.

I read a few articles about how the authors are getting paid and it looks like some people get paid as soon as the book is downloaded, but a lot don't receive payment unless the book has synced past 10%?

Recommendation time! I would definitely suggest getting all four anthologies Megan Derr has made available, since they're normally on the higher end (for m/m - the f/f book is right on average). If you have an interest in Robin Roseau (TRAP!), I would grab them on a trial basis, because, as I've ranted before, there is EXTREMELY shady stuff re: consent. I won't lie; I'm still acquiring her books, because MAYBE THIS TIME. I like the writing! It's just that inevitably, the relationship dynamic will take a turn that enrages me (FREE MICHAELA).

Go the Fuck to Sleep is available! I Think I Am In Friend-Love With You was fucking adorable. I grabbed a bunch of meta-fantasy, like NPCs, The Dark Lord's Handbook, Off to Be the Wizard, and Critical Failures (all as yet unread).

Evan Currie, aka Tenhawk, has a lot of books on offer. I'd recommend Steam Legion in particular. Seal Team 13 made me sad, but that's probably because I'm emotionally attached to the fanfic version, which has Xander and logistics and ALL the crossovers (Darien from Invisible Man, Sara from The Craft, Sam from Supernatural, Dade from Hackers, Jake from Jake 2.0, and others all on a special monsterhunting squad? MY BELOVED FOREVER).

Handily, if you search an author name instead of going to their author page, the filter options on the left will let you isolate Kindle Unlimited eligible books, if any qualify.

ETA: Also, there is just a fuckload of porn. So if you crave some centaur gangbangs or gay Krampus action or forbidden triceratops love, but don't want it showing up in your Kindle items forever, Kindle Unlimited is THERE FOR YOU.

But the comm is now sitting at 1150! Come on, when you realize you're that close to 1000, that becomes your next goal in life. OVERWHELMINGLY m/m (870-ish, with m/m/m making up a further 30 or so), but I'm going with ~240 f/f not being bad at all.

Also, I'm reading Sean Michael and regretting a lot of life-choices lately and this may have been reflected in my posting choices. He is my pro-fic version of terrible-Xander-crossovers girl, y'all. I wish I could quit them, but then there's something that's almost amazing and I'm right back in again. I maybe read Trust and was seduced by the friendship before fucking dynamic. This lead to several terrible books (and a couple okay ones! v. exciting and unexpected) and a new round of poking at Bent, which I have never summoned up the courage to read, because it could be great, or it could be ALL OF THE CONSENT ISSUES, it honestly seems like a toss-up.

I need to do a massive amount of tagging, but shhh, we're not thinking about that now, because that way lies despair and madness and the weird makes-you-think-you're-hallucinating loop at skip=720.

Now I sleep the sleep of the victorious!

So you want to read some queer profic! I salute your hypothetical enthusiasm, but know this: THE REGRETS, THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU.

( Explanation/babble. )

( Straight to the recs. )

( Too Stupid to Live quote )

*AMANUENSIS WROTE A BOOK, Y'ALL. I literally shouted holy fuck when I read the author bio. I honestly can't remember who's fannishly out under their professional pseuds, so I'm leery to name names, but there are three or four just off my flist. It's like seeing a familiar author pop up in your new fandom, except superweird.

So. I'm in a cast now. For a STRAINED WRIST. Like, it was getting worse, not better, even wearing a brace, but still, this seems a little extreme. I was legit the only one in my family NEVER TO BE IN ONE OF THESE STUPID THINGS. I am a little cranky about my lost perfect record.

Cast = can't lift feed = can't work at Atwoods. So I am off until the end of the month at least. On the one hand, money may become a bit of an issue. I've got two weeks paid vacation I can take, plus my birthday is a paid holiday, plus any birthday money (basically? if it had to happen, SO GLAD it happened in May), but still. I can borrow from my dad if it gets desperate, I would just rather not if I can help it.

On the other hand, IT IS FOUR GLORIOUS WEEKS OFF FROM WORK. Admittedly, four weeks that will encompass barely any computer time, because the cast is on my right wrist and I can only manage to contort it to fit a mouse for about an hour before my shoulder starts killing me.

So! I don't usually do this, and I want to stress that zero obligation or guilt is intended, but I am going to be pretty fucking bored in a couple weeks, so if anyone wanted to send me a book or two*, I would love them forever.

*Yes, the name on the wishlist is Katherine, yes, it's still me. A couple weeks ago I found a Kindle in an antique store (I don't know either!) for 25 bucks, so obviously I had to get it. It went on a second account because my actual account has working-kindle Metis, broken-kindles Pallas and Seshet, and my kindle for PC and someone told me they cap you at five.

Also, book-filter people, the comm I talked about will no longer spam you if you want to check it out. It is locked to members-only for obvious reasons.

I desperately want an electronic version of Sirens and Other Demon Lovers just so I can shove it at y'all and shout READ IT. The Eye of the Storm is the fucking best, you guys, I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IT IS FULL OF POLY AND ISSUES OF IDENTITY AND THE FAMILIES YOU CHOOSE AND BASICALLY: RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS.

Also The Faerie Cony-Catcher and The House of Nine Doors are pretty great, but mostly, KELLEY ESKRIDGE, I HEART YOU.

I AM A GENIUS.

Okay, so I only found a copy of an ebook that was pulled from distribution, not, like, discovered a planet.

BUT IT WAS GONE, AND THEN I FOUND IT, AND ALSO A BUNCH MORE BOOKS, AND NOW I WANT TO QUOTE WEST WING.

VICTORY IS MINE, VICTORY IS MINE, GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING, PEOPLE, VICTORY IS MINE.

Like, fantastic concepts and then terrible, terrible executions, all the time.

For instance, I just read one (ETA: ha, I automatically typed "a fic" there) where a guy gets attacked by a gun-wielding ex, argues with his demon-killing current boyfriend, goes to a conference at a creepy hotel, gets sucked into a hell-dimension, injured, nursed back to health, claimed by a terrifying demon who turns out to be his transformed boyfriend, almost gets murdered, makes a deal with a demon, betrays the boyfriend as part of a cunning plan, rescues everybody, and kind of proposes. Also he works through his issues about emotional reservation and independence. Also there's a flashback to how their relationship started.

THE FUCKING BOOK IS 106 PAGES. YOU CANNOT PULL THAT OFF, MARY CALMES.

The writing wasn't that bad, but the pacing made me want to punch EVERYTHING.

So in my current origfic obsession, I decided to re-read Kei's Gift only to find it's no longer free to read. You have to buy it from Smashwords. On the bright side, today is the last day of Smashwords' ebooks sale so I'm getting it for 75% off.

Basically, if you want to read Kei's Gift by Ann Somerville, BUY IT TODAY. I'm apparently a minority in that I didn't love it, but the captive/captor, warring-nations thing isn't really my groove, either. But it is totally worth the $1.25 sale price just for the awesome part where Arman nurses Kei back to health.

I totally should have made notes during my pre-Kindle Torquere phase. I now have a giant file of m/m ebooks in html format and none of them have summaries inside the book. And some of them are no longer offered by Torquere. Like, fully half of them I have no idea if I've read. Some of them are memorable in the not-good way - the terrible werewolf porn, the bestiality twincest threesome - and the good ones mostly ended up in my ebook post, but the middle of the road books? IDK.

Also all of them have giant warnings about "you can't give ebooks away" and it makes me cranky. If I can lend/gift my hardcopy books I should be able to do the same damn thing with these, since I have to PAY HARDCOPY PRICES. Like, I'm not going to be torrenting to the masses or anything, but fuck.

I am totally in an original m/m mood, y'all, and so many of these books are awful. And I tell you what, I hope Stormy Glenn has been in fandom at some point, because her crazy is our kind of crazy, you guys. It's the deflowered-werecat's-pheremones-make-his-mate-bigger (yes, like that, but also like "regular size Tom Hardy" vs. "Bronson size Tom Hardy") kind of crazy.

I WANT AN M/M EBOOK REC LIST. I AM TIRED OF PAYING FOR TERRIBLENESS.

ALSO, NO ONE SHOULD EVER BE NAMED QUILLIAM. I CANNOT EVEN FINISH THAT BOOK NOW. "...WHEN I'M MAKING LOVE TO YOU, YOU'LL CALL ME QUILLIAM.", ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

See, this series is weird for me because I read God Stalk at 12 and then found Dark of the Moon at the library, once, then never again and of course it was too out-of-print for me to hunt down for my own. Basically, I have loved Jame for more than a decade and yet I'm reading Bound in Blood for the first time today. I LOVE IT.

Like, I dig Jame and Tori and Kindrie and their whole fucked-up destiny/family/romance THING, and I dig the plot and the worldbuilding and the whole ball of crazy that is the Kencyrath (I have THOUGHTS, you guys), but the thing that might make me happiest? Is how CASUAL the queer content can be in these books. Like, this is not a Single Token Gay situation. There's sister-kinhood, and the true love of Brenwyr and Aerulan that extends even into the afterlife, and Kindrie's (THUS FAR) unrequited love for Tori, and the false Lord Randir is gay, and today I read about Jame meeting a woman and her seemingly-genderqueer husband (called Da by their kids so I'm going with "genderqueer" instead of "drag king") and getting teased about a threesome. All accepted both culturally and by individuals, except for a single creepy-ass villainess, and even that appeared to be more blackmail than actual homophobia, since Adiraina shut her down at least in part by pointing out that that would prevent anyone ever sharing a similar relationship with Rawneth. IT MAKES ME HAPPY. ALSO, THE MERI-KIT PRACTICE POLY AND ARE GENERALLY GREAT, IT'S JUST CHINGETAI THAT'S A JACKASS.

Okay, and I also enjoy that boys keep hitting on Jame and she's mostly "whatever, stop being a douchebag" about it, and then girls hit on her and she gets flustered. I JUST WANT JAME/TORI WITH A SIDE OF JAME/LADIES AND POSSIBLY OF TORI/KINDRIE. Like, I can't quite parse if consort-contracts are exclusive outside of things like sister-kinhood and mistresses, or if the Highborn practice poly as well, because if the latter, than Tori should totally contract for Lyra as well, I HEART HER, and she would be totally willing to share with and to love Jame.

I am reading SO MUCH MORE non-fanfic than usual since I got my e-reader! And man, I would have read the Elemental Logic series way sooner if only someone had mentioned how queer that 'verse is, so here is the heads-up I wish I had gotten: the Shaftali live in poly households and nobody gives a damn about your lover's gender, and the main cast have formed a household and are raising a kid, and there's f/f and m/m and m/f, and it is GREAT. I mean, these books are full of TERRIBLE THINGS happening to basically everybody, but at least there is also hope and good cooking and TRUE LOVE.